Everyone thinks they’re going to be different.

But then the kids have to be shipped off to school, Junior has a runny nose, the laundry has to be done, jobs are stressful, and then at the end of the day all you wanna do is sink into the oblivion of the television and sleep. Sex isn’t on the menu — or if it is, it’s buried somewhere beneath desserts and beverages.

A recent study of couples revealed that the not-so-smug marrieds surveyed averaged 66 times per year when it came to sexual congress. Faced with a similar statistic in their relationships, two American authors recently decided to do something about their respective situations. In 365 Nights: A Memoir of Intimacy (Berkley Books), Charla Muller chronicles (in G-rated terms) what she calls her “crazy adventure” — intimate relations with her husband Brad every day for a year.

Douglas Brown’s Just Do It (Crown, an imprint of Random House) tells of the more modest goal set by he and his wife Annie: sex for 101 days straight.

“I don’t think anybody enters into marriage and thinks it’s going to be a sexless marriage,” says Muller, reached at her North Carolina home. “Everybody thinks, ‘We’re not going to be that stereotypical couple who sits across from each other at dinner out and doesn’t speak. We’re not going to be one of those couples that blows off friends and family to get an infant in bed by dusk. We’re going to be this new, enlightened couple that always puts each other first.’ And then I realized that I was comically and ridiculously like everyone else.”

Reached at the headquarters of the Denver Post, where he is a features writer, Brown agrees that something must be in the air for two such books to be written and published almost simultaneously.

“Maybe it has something to do with Generation X,” says the 42-year-old who, like Muller, has two kids. “A lot of them are parents now, and this book has something to do with that, having sex while being a parent. It also has to do with the culture, which has become more liberal in general. Maybe the Gen-Xers are the first ones to say, ‘I’m middle-aged now, and sex is great. I’m not really happy with it fading because I’ve turned 40 or whatever. And I’m willing to do what it takes to bring it back.’”

And because many have seen the wreckage of divorce, they are savvy enough to be scared of the sexless marriage. “They’ve seen marriages dissolve over and over again, and they’re smart enough to realize sex is important, and if that goes away it’s not good for a relationship,” Brown says. “And they’ve seen how messy divorce is, and they don’t want that to happen.”

The books, and the marriages, are quite different — but both authors are self-deprecating when it comes to what they know, thought they knew or had yet to learn. And one thing both Brown and Muller realized was that they had to prioritize with their partners. Chemistry is ideal, but sometimes you still have to plan.

“If it’s fading and not happening as much as you want, and you’re thinking ‘Oh, the chemistry isn’t happening,’ you need to stand back and say, ‘Chemistry is great, but I still want to do it regardless,’” says Brown.

“Two people who’ve been together for awhile, they have careers, they commute, they socialize with friends. In our case we had basically two hours a day, together and alone. Before the marathon we just frittered those hours away. You need to plan it. And that’s the beauty of doing it every day. One hundred days is ridiculous — nobody needs to do that. But I think setting a goal is great.”

“Talking about it and scheduling it is a priority,” says Muller. “I think my husband resisted that a little bit… ‘Oh, it’s going to detract from the romance and spontaneity of it.’ And I was like, ‘Are you kidding? We’re not at a spontaneous juncture in our lives. We’ve got responsibilities. There’s nothing we do spontaneously.’ We had to redefine how we were going reprioritize intimacy.”

Intimacy itself, says Muller, “is the elephant in the living room. You might not be talking about it, but it’s there. Especially if you’re not having it.” With the determination to be intimate at least once a day, a pressure she didn’t even know was bearing down on her marriage just went away, says Muller.

During his sexperiment, Brown also learned to not take the act for granted — to respect, even enshrine it.

“We took it very seriously,” he says. “We didn’t just flop into bed with bad breath and looking like crap and have sex with each other just to fulfill the march towards the end of this marathon. We wanted to jack up our sex life and experiment and learn. So every night we’d both shower, she’d put on lingerie and I’d wear nice pajamas or a robe, we’d light a candle and some incense. It sounds like a lot of work but it wasn’t. It only takes 10 minutes.”

So did he get any the night before our interview? “You know what? Almost. We were both in bed and we were watching Mad Men, and we were barely dressed and we were both in the mood, and both wanted to do it. But we both ended up succumbing to exhaustion. But this morning we were like, ‘OK, this weekend.’ We’re going to get a couple sessions in.”

By Shawn Conner

We all have that one friend who’s legendary for his 1,000-volume porn library or her entire bureau full of multi-functional, high-performance sex toys.

For that friend, collecting sexual accessories is a hobby. For almost everyone else, it’s intimidating and potentially expensive. Also truly unnecessary in my opinion. My top 10 nightstand must-haves are versatile, widely available and cost under $10 each. Ready to play?

Stockings
Much more than a simple undergarment, stockings are a blindfold, an erotic gag and a surprisingly strong restraint for those of you with headboards and/or four-posters and BDSM tastes. Black silk from Wolford are my favorite, though Victoria’s Secret, La Senza or, hell, even department store generics will work just as well. Go for elastic-topped thigh-highs instead of tights-style…you get two separate garments without the unsightly control-top waist. Add a pair of sexy heels and presto! You have a naughty burlesque costume just waiting for your favorite private dancer.

“Handcuffs are so played. Plus they’re not flexible, and you can’t do much with them. Stockings are much better. They’re strong, they’re stretchy, they’re resilient. And they’re sexy, you know?” — Sarah, 28

Peacock Feather
Tickle tickle. Check and see just how sensitive your partner is — or rather how sensitive you can make them — by wielding this innocent-looking torture instrument in just the right way. For best results, combine with stockings (as blindfold). Many different kinds of feathers will work but we prefer the peacock variety because they’re beautiful, easy to locate, inexpensive and…well… the name is suggestive.

Votive Candles
Inexpensive and easy to find (Wal-Mart, Ikea, even your local drugstore), votive candles are the thinking man’s fallback mood enhancer; a dozen tiny rainbow-colored candles, glowing gently from every corner, can turn any room into a temple of lurrrve. Women also love votives because candlelight is so much more forgiving than electric lighting yet so much sexier than total darkness.

“Nothing says romance like candlelight… and the more candles you have, the more romance, right?” — Josh, 37

Ice Water
Extremely important. For when you get dehydrated from all that high-impact porn-style positioning… when it’s 90 degrees in the room and you need to wet down and cool off (which, ironically, usually only serves to heat things up even further)…when you’ve just swallowed and need to chase the taste off the back of your throat… ice water is your best friend.

PLUS. Can I talk about the ice itself for a second? Endless possibilities for the adventurous perv. Start with an ice cube on the nipples or teasing gently around your partner’s genitals or crunched up in your mouth while you’re giving oral sex… Oh. My. Goodness. We have a winner! Try it tonight — you’ll thank me.

Lube
Some people aren’t comfortable using lube because they think it implies that they can’t work up enough gushiness on their own. Wrong! Yes, the woman should be wet — that’s how you know she’s aroused, as we are all taught in Lovemaking 101. But a little extra wetness can work wonders either in the beginning, to assist your finger-and-tongue explorations, or mid-session, to make things smoother when natural lubricants can dry out. Finally, you should NEVER even TRY to have anal sex without copious quantities of lube, unless you’re trying to punish both yourself and your partner. Seriously. Ouch.

“A quality lube or lotion is great for a massage to get her all worked up. It’s great when you’re actually getting it. And if she leaves (or falls asleep) before closing the deal, it can help you, um, get yourself there, if you catch my meaning.” — Garrett, 31

Camera
Point. Click. You’re so dirty. Point. Click. You’re the hottest ticket ever. OK, maybe your money-shot doesn’t look quite like Penthouse but do you honestly think that matters? Hell no. This is not about the end product but the act itself — the confidence it takes to allow someone to photograph you in the buff and the libido-fueling knowledge that you are, in fact, an amateur porn star. If you’re really not comfortable with the existence of a public record of your own nastiness… well, use your own camera and erase everything immediately. If you’re not overly paranoid (and you shouldn’t be because everyone does this and unless you’re Pam Anderson, nobody cares), keep the pics and let them inspire you and your partner to even hornier heights in the near future.

One Dirty Book
I think any bona fide hedonist should have an entire library of dirty books — erotic fiction, how-to manuals, manga, even the Kama Sutra and a couple of back issues of Cosmo. But if you were stranded on a dirty desert island with only ONE smut book for company, go with a recommendation from the experts at Hollywood’s famous Circus of Books:

“The ones that really stand out are How to Have a XXX Sex Life, by Jenna Jameson and the Vivid Video girls — lots of studio pictures to augment the text — and, in the erotic fiction department, Sexually Satisfied, the explicit account of a struggling actress’ sexual awakening.” — David, Circus of Books

Wet Wipes
Perhaps the most underappreciated thing in the nightstand arsenal. So compact, so convenient, so much easier than running off to the bathroom to get a washcloth post-explosion. And. There’s nothing that earns better Geisha Girl (or Sensual Man) brownie points than sweetly, gently cleaning up your lover’s, um, area as they lay there buzzing, half passed out in post-coital bliss.

“Nobody likes sticky fingers and no trip to the washroom, no matter how quick, is ever quick enough. Pre-moistened cloths are crucial. They’re also handy for dealing with lube spills on the bedside table.” — Kerri, 32

Honey
Typically in my experience — and I know I’m going against public opinion here–foodstuffs and sex do not mix well. Too messy, too much potential to be silly (pineapple ring-around-the-penis, anyone?) and, if you’re dealing with dairy products, too much danger of them turning rancid and killing the mood.

The exception is honey. Deliciously tasty, it mixes well with bodily fluids and is easy enough to apply with a squeezy-bear bottle. It sweetens a kiss, is a treat on nipples or other sensitive bits and never turns foul, regardless of the room temperature. A couple words of caution: A little goes a long way… a lot will take you straight to the laundry room, do not pass GO. Also, because of the ultra-sticky consistency, honey works best if at least one partner — ideally both — landscapes the lawn.

A Vibrating Bullet
Regular vibrators can be intimidating, particularly as they suggest that perhaps the real thing is, ahem, superfluous. But a mini-vibe — a Magic Bullet, a tickler, whatever — can spice up the ol’ in-out, in-out in sooo many wonderful ways.

“I recommend the Rabbit vibe attachment. It’s fairly cute and discreet. It looks like it could be a kids’ toy and then you discover it’s really a clit tickler. It’s tiny, it’s stretchy, and it fits nicely around a penis. It has adjustable speeds and you can move it up or down or wherever you want it. An essential for a nasty girl.” — Lindsay, 24
By Lena Katz

Find everything you need at BravsShop.com

It’s a given that when the novelty and freshness of a relationship wears off, the connection you have with your partner can lose some of its sparkle. But just because it’s not shiny and new anymore doesn’t have to have that it loses all its fun.

The truth is, when a relationship stops being fun, it can be really difficult to get that element back between you. You may still see yourselves as lovers and partners… but when you stop seeing yourselves as friends you stop truly enjoying one another. But while there’s no real way to keep your relationship 100% fresh for the rest of your lives, there are ways to keep it from getting dry and boring.

If things have gone a bit stale in your relationship and you’re just not having as much fun as you used to, don’t despair! Keep reading for some helpful tips in keeping things interesting and fun.

Experience new things together

At the very beginning of any new love affair we simply can’t get enough of each other. Over time though that excitement begins to fade and things become predictable. Your relationship has fallen into a rut which can be difficult to climb out of. You eat out at the same restaurants, get together with the same people, and do the same activities, over and over again. Failing to find new experiences to share together will cause your relationship to languish.

Discovering new experiences together is not just about changing your Friday night restaurant, or meeting with new people. It’s also a journey of discovery. Exploring a new city together with just a map; trying different ethnic cuisines, taking a wine tasting or a cooking class; these are all examples of things you can discover and do together. As you grow and discover together, the closer your bond will be while at the same time having some much needed fun.

Banish bedroom monotony

Though you might not like to think about it, there comes a time in every relationship when sex becomes boring and routine no matter how attracted you are to your partner. But humans have been having sex for thousands of years, so there is bound to be something new that you haven’t sampled yet. Now is the time to make a commitment to exploring your sexuality and discovering new sensations together. This is one journey of discovery that will definitely not be boring!

Time for yourself

Some of us have a really hard time justifying alone time when we are in a happy and fulfilling relationship. After all, we love our partner and we should want to be with them all the time, right? Wrong! Pursuing your own interests and getting together with your own friends are only two of the things that will enhance your relationship. Alone time gives you the opportunity to let your hair down. It will also make you miss your partner. Just think of all the making up you can do when you see each other again!

Dating each other

This is another great way to fight falling into that nearly-inevitable relationship rut. Don’t get too comfortable and assume that your relationship will maintain itself. Because it won’t! Just because you’ve been dating somebody for a long time doesn’t mean you don’t need to try anymore. Going out on dates will remind the both of you that what you have is special and needs to be maintained. It doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy; just make sure you set aside a time every week or every month just for you and your partner. It’s bound to make you a stronger couple.

Women are aroused by men knowledgeable about meaningful topics and can communicate them in a humble manner. Increasing knowledge and creative planning are easy using these step by step instructions. Valentines Day is a perfect time to practice the art of seduction. Below are 10 topics involving Valentines Day history which will arouse her curiosity, intrigue her senses, and elevate her desire.

Sensual seduction and female arousal involves 70% communication and 30% physical. The 10 facts below are common tidbits of information anyone can find online. Although basic facts on Valentines Day, they present a valuable weapon in the art of seduction. Thoroughly memorizing them followed by using creative applications is seduction personified.

The first step is learning the 10 facts well enough to repeat them to a friend or colleague. It is not necessary to know all 10 word for word, but the general theme. A technique to imprint the list to memory is using the bolding feature on your computer. Bold proper names, dates, and general themes of each factoid will take 20-30 minutes. After bolding all 10, commit them to memory through repetition.

Once memorized, the next and most crucial step is creative application. Creative application is brainstorming ways to communicate them in an innovative way. In addition to communicating these details, creative application ventures into non-direct methods. A simple technique can be written in the Valentines Day card. Most men rely on the message printed in the card followed by his term of endearment and signature.

Instead, buy a blank card and write a message using one of the 10 Valentines facts. For example, take fact 4. Briefly write why X became representative of a kiss and then finish using number 10 on why Doves represent love. The combinations alone are infinite. Another tip is the email message. For example, put number 2 in the subject line bolded with italics saying “Feast of Lupercalia.” In the body, briefly describe the feast and how Valentines together will feel like the “Feast of Lupercalia.” As stated, these 10 facts become part of your arsenal for seduction.

If single and out on the town looking to meet women, the creative step is minimal. In the single man meeting a single woman strategy, the goal is subtly discussing Valentines Day using memorized factoids. Emphasis is on being subtle and not being verbose. Once she expresses interest in Valentines Day, introducing other tidbits are acceptable. The goal is a humble manner void of being pompous or egotistical.

If married or actively dating, creative application becomes paramount. Using creative application is dictated by the time involved with a woman. If married or a couple for more than one year, creative application requires more planning. More strategic planning is due to her knowing his intellect, areas of interest, and hidden agendas. If past Valentines Day exchanges were dull, creative applications may be received with suspicion. The 10 Valentines Day facts are as follows.

1. Valentines Day dates back to the Roman Empire during the reign of Claudius. As legend has it; Emperor Claudius forbade men to marry believing bachelors functioned better as soldiers during wartime. Objecting to the Emperor’s statute, Bishop Valentine continued to perform secret marital ceremonies. Deemed subversive, Valentine was incarcerated with execution as punishment. Young people flocked to visit him. One young woman was the daughter of the prison guard. On the day of his execution, Valentine scribed a note to her signing it “Love from your Valentine”. This was on February 14, 269 A. D.

2. The Romans celebrated the Feast of Lupercalia. Lupercalia was a pastoral festival celebrated from February 13th through the 15th. The theme was to purify the city by expelling evil spirits releasing fertility and health. Lupercalia replaced Februa, an even older spring cleansing ritual held on the same date. This ancient ritual word, Februa, continues to thrive giving the month of February its name.

3. February 14th may be the celebrated day of St. Valentines, but during ancient Rome the 14th of February was celebrated to honor Juno. She was a Roman goddess, equivalent to Hera, the Greek queen of the gods. Juno was a majestic figure wearing a diadem on her head. The peacock was her symbolic animal. Juno was also the guardian spirit of women and marriage.

4. The letter X is the symbol used in XO when signing a letter, card, or online message meaning a “kiss” is attached. X became the symbol of the kiss during medieval times. The vast majority of citizens could not read or write. Having few skills in penmanship, contractual agreements were signed writing the letter X. The person was witnessed writing the X and then kissed the X confirming validation.

5. During the middle ages, a custom each year was for young men and women to pick a name from a bowl predicting who would be their Valentine. Once their lucky Valentine was chosen, they would wear his/her name pinned to their sleeves for an entire week. From this custom comes the expression “to wear your heart on your sleeve.”

6. Chocolate has historical significance symbolizing love, passion, and a gift for Valentines Day. Casanova, known as symbolizing the worlds “greatest lover”, ate chocolate believing it heightened his sexual prowess. As recent as the 19th century, doctors prescribed chocolate for their patients experiencing negative symptoms caused by a lost love. Also during the latter part of the 19th century, the Cadbury Company produced and marketed boxes of chocolate for loved ones on Valentines.

7. Flowers remain the gift of choice on Valentines Day. Roses are most popular and red roses continue to be their color of choice. The color red and the red rose have symbolized love and romance dating back to ancient times. In Greek and Roman mythology, the red rose was associated with the Goddess of Love. Aphrodite symbolized love for the Greeks and the Romans had Venus.

8. Cupid is one of the most famous symbols of Valentine’s Day. Like many cultural symbols, Cupid represents love and romance. Cupid was the son of Venus, Goddess of Love in ancient Roman mythology. In Greek mythology, Cupid was named Eros and the son of Aphrodite. In both Roman and Greek mythology, Cupid was depicted as a child and not a portly baby with wings. Latin mythology introduced Cupid being chubby, naked, and adorning wings. His bow with quiver of arrows was not to kill, but induce love.

9. The symbol of a heart is associated with Valentine’s Day. The custom of drawing a heart shape originated from early attempts to draw a human organ that few witnessed. Ancient cultures believed the soul lived in the heart. The theory of how the heart became a symbol of love is attributed to the Romans and Greeks. Greeks believed Eros and Cupid for the Romans were commissioned by their mothers to shoot unsuspecting victims with their arrows causing the person to fall hopelessly in love.

10. Birds are symbols of Valentines Day and two particular species represent symbols of love. Lovebirds and Doves are the two. Lovebirds found in Africa, are brilliantly colored and huddle close together with their mates. Doves are symbols of loyalty because they mate for life. Also endeared by humans are doves parenting dynamics. Doves mate for life and share in the responsibilities of caring for their fledglings.

How toArouse and Seduce Women on Valentines Day is an easy exercise to learn, devise, and implement. Women enjoy men they deem interesting and spark their intrigue. The technique of arousing her mind does not require a doctoral degree, but the effort involved is what will arouse. Arousing and seducing women using intellectual prowess are not just for Valentines Day. This technique can be used for every holiday and as a general approach for any and all occasions. The art of seducing a woman starts at the top, her mind, and then slowly working to other areas.

About the Author:
Dr. Michael Nuccitelli is a New York State licensed psychologist and certified forensic consultant. Dr. Nuccitelli completed his doctoral degree in clinical psychology in 1994 from the Adler School of Professional Psychology located in Chicago, Illinois. In 2006, he received a Diplomat of the American Board of Psychological Specialties and certification as a forensic consultant from the American College of Forensic Examiners Institute. Dr. Nuccitelli is a New York State resident residing in the Hudson Valley 65 miles North of Manhattan.

Over the last 25 years, Dr. Nuccitelli has worked in the mental health field in a variety of capacities with various clinical populations. In addition to mental health, Dr. Nuccitelli has worked in the area of forensic psychology conducting forensic evaluations and consulting services for attorneys and court systems. Presently, he is a consultant providing his expertise to the community, legal system, and media. In addition to his work with the community, Dr. Nuccitelli is an informational consultant for Nutraloid Labs, a New York based sports nutrition supplement company. At their two online distribution websites, http://www.goliathlabs.com/ and http://www.herberex.com/, he writes and develops educational information for visitors.

Dr. Nuccitelli’s areas of expertise are human sexuality, forensic psychology, heath/fitness, and psychiatric/psychological issues. He also is an avid follower of current news and enjoys interfacing with the media regarding current events. Dr. Nuccitelli can be reached at 845-592-0120 or via email at drnucc@optonline.net

So you want to talk dirty to a guy but aren’t sure where to start? Look no further than this short tips guide on how to talk dirty to a guy and how to become a better dirty talker. Remember, the more you practice the better you get. So study these tips and practice them regularly. You man will adore you for it!

1. Find a Voice
This can be your dirty talk voice. Some people, particularly women, prefer to experiment in different voices. This may be to hide your true voice or simply to sound more sexy. Whatever the reason, make that voice sound raunchy to drive the guy wild!

2. Do It Alone
You can talk dirty when on your own. You can also talk dirty to yourself in front of a guy. This can be a good time to touch yourself and this will absolutely turn him on and virtually force him to join in with you!

3. Expose Your Inner Thoughts
If you have anything to say, then say it. This is not a time to hold back! A guy will love to hear your honesty so even if it means telling him how hot and sexy he is, do it!

4. Tell Him Your Fantasies
Everyone has fantasies and when you are talking dirty you want to let the guy know about them. Tell him what you desire for him to do to you, and what you wish to do to him. You may desire a third person or various positions. Whichever it is, make it known to him through your dirty talking ways.

5. Its How You Say It
Remember it’s not just what you say but how it is said. Speaking in a raunchy tone can transform a mediocre sentence into an all out orgasmic one, for both you and him!

6. Descriptions
Graphic descriptions are what make dirty talk so exciting. Be as descriptive as you can about everything from body parts to actions to feelings. This is a time to use adjectives (describing words) to their fullest.

7. A Mix of the Senses
It’s not just about words, dirty talk can also involve smells, sounds and touch. Involving all your senses heightens the experience and makes it more memorable.

Talking dirty to your boyfriend, husband or the guy you just met is extremely exciting, naughty and enticing for both people. Make a habit of talking dirty with him whenever you can and he’ll love to join in too.

The thought of sex in the shower is incredibly erotic but if you’re feeling a little tentative due to limited space, height differences or flexibility issues, we’ll show you how to overcome it’s limitations, and turn your shower into a sexy waterfall of love with these hot shower sex tips.

Like ordinary sex, foreplay is a must and the shower is a great place to start to get you all hot and steamy. Those scented soaps are not only good for cleaning they also make for wonderful sexual stimulants. Use them to enjoy each other’s bodies to lovingly rub each other down, sensually wash each other’s hair or massage his scalp and neck while giving him light kisses. Have him lather some sexy soaps or bath oils all over your body, while sucking water off your breasts or lapping it from your neck. Just be careful he doesn’t get too carried away and let soap slip inside you and most definitely do not use soap as a lubricant. Water tends to wash away natural bodily fluids, so use a silicone-based lubricant, which is condom safe, and water resistant, if you need a little extra to help you slip and slide away.

Get Kinky With the Shower Head
Sex in the shower gets kinky when you have a removable shower head. Place it between your legs and move it back and forth or in circular motions. Or change the settings to create different pulsations for endless ripples of pleasure. Have your partner tease then seduce you by using it to massage your head, neck and shoulders. Then have him trace it down the length of your spine, over your buttocks then ever so gently bring it up between your legs.

Sex In The Shower Positions
Sex in the shower is definitely fun, but before attempting any position first make sure you invest in a non-slip shower mat to prevent any mishaps.

Have Him Lift You Up: If your shower width and strength of man permits try straddling him by gripping tightly with your thighs around his waist and hold the shower- head for support. If achieved successfully, this position is great for some deep hard thrusting.

The Dancer Position: Attempt the dancer positionif you are supremely flexible and are of similar height, by placing one thigh around his waist or over his shoulder while balancing on your tippy toe. Have him hold you under your buttocks to support your weight and control the depth, while you either hold on to his shoulders, or the sides of the shower.

Bend Over: If you are able, try bending over while he takes you from behind. Either place your hands on the tiles, soap dish or towel rack for support.

Oral Shower Sex
Understandably, the above shower sex positions will be out of reach for many, leaving oral shower sex the likely best option. The best way to do this is by getting him to bend down while you place a foot on a soap dish or balance a leg against a wall. When it’s his turn, avoid positioning yourself directly under the stream of water in case you end up gagging on more than just his moist member.

Anal Shower Sex
If you are experienced with anal sex you can try to bend over for penetration but if you’re not, don’t attempt it. Sex in the shower is instead beneficial for experimenting with anal stimulation or analingus. It provides a warm comfortable environment to help you feel your most clean while the water dilutes any natural secretions.

There are many different variations to sex in the shower, but if your shower is free standing without a bathtub to prop yourself up, you could always purchase a small shower stool to help you get a leg up and create some steamy hot shower sex!

Congratulations on getting your first ever sexy toy. You’re going to have a jolly good time with it. But there are some things you should know about sex toys. There is always the potential that you could get hurt, get a rash, or get infected with something icky. There are real risks involved with sex toys – STDs that include HIV.

So it’s best to play things safe – that means the enjoyment will last so much longer.

Use lube and make sure that it doesn’t contain petroleum.
This is especially true for any anal toys you may want to play with. Our anuses do not create their own juices so you should use a lot of lube when you’re getting ready for some action. But be careful about the type of lube you use – you don’t want anything that contains petroleum or glycerin because these can cause irritations. Use water-based lubes for the best results.

A girl’s gotta have her own toys to play with.
Try not to share your toys with anyone else but when you do, make sure you play it safe by using condoms. You could end up with an infection if you do not take care to protect yourself.

Keep your toys clean.
This should go without saying but sometimes it’s well worth repeating the obvious. Don’t just leave your anal beads or but plug in toilet paper next to the basin; run some luke-warm water into the basin and leave the beads overnight. They’ll be pretty clean the next morning and then you should dry them and store them.

Find a place where you can leave your treasure trove of sexy goodies. Make sure that this place is secure, clean and discreet, especially when you live with other people. They shouldn’t be able to get to your toys at all; you don’t want to share these intimate toys with other people.

Boil silicone sex toys in water between uses. Use condoms on your sex toys at all times if you have an STD; you don’t want to risk re-infecting yourself.

Be careful when you’re using sex toys.
Don’t emulate Hugh Hefner’s near death escape from the 1970s… He very nearly swallowed a Ben Wa ball back then. Other sex toys that could be potentially unsafe are glass dildos. There have been reports of problems with certain brands that shatter.

Research the materials they used to make your favourite sex toy.
Run far away if it contains phthalates – these chemicals disrupt our hormone system – or latex, which contains toxins that could leak into your body. Many people are allergic to latex and even those who aren’t could do worse than to look at alternatives to latex. Try to stay away from ’scented’ and oil-based products – these could irritate your body and give you an unpleasant rash.

Only engage in sex that’s emotionally safe.
Your partner should never push sex toys on you if it makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Perhaps you could first become more accustomed to the idea of using sex toys by walking around in a non-threatening sex shop.

Strong attraction to a partner you’ve just begun dating is almost magical. The smell of her hair, the sparkle in her eyes and the curves of her physique drive you toward her in such a way that could . . . well, ruin everything if you’re not careful. Physical intimacy is a powerful force that can carry a relationship forward, or it can spoil the relationship and signal the beginning of the end.

Even when chemistry is off the charts with a woman, it pays to manage your sexual impulses, especially when you are dating someone you really like. Media images would have us believe that we can—and should—do whatever we want whenever we want with whomever we want, without much thought of how it will impact you and your partner, but the truth is that when two people become too physically intimate too soon, a lot of the magic is lost, and unless your relationship has developed to a point of depth, recognized compatibility and mutual interest, it will most likely dissolve before the 6-month mark.

Physical attraction is an important aspect of a romantic relationship, and it must be there, regardless of compatibility on other dimensions. Without chemistry, a relationship with a member of the opposite sex is just a friendship, and like relationships built on physical attraction alone, won’t be strong enough to last a lifetime.

Chemistry is intense. It makes you come alive when you’re next to her, and strengthens the feeling of love that is developing for her. You feel the need to physically touch her—holding hands, hugging, arms around the shoulders—as well as stand right next to her and be physically close at all times. Sexual attraction is a hard feeling to deny, but for relationship success you will want to become adept at knowing which qualities outside of physical attraction in that person are compatible with you. This skill of observation is so important because you’ll be able to recognize someone of value over just another strong physical attraction.

“Those who say, I love that person, but I’m not in love anymore have made the wrong choice in a partner for them.”
–Dr. Neil Clark Warren

Taking it one step further, being able to recognize a compatible woman of value while getting to know her slowly on all fronts is the foundation of relationship quality. In the beginning of a relationship even the largest of incompatibilities between you can be overlooked in the shadow of new love and physical attraction, but over time they’ll be sticking points in the relationship. If you want to know your incompatibilities after a while, you can easily spot them by asking yourself which personal traits or behavioral choices in your life do you have to curb or emphasize in order to satisfy your partner. Can you be yourself, or do you have to change a little bit? The more incompatibilities, the more concessions you will have to make to maintain the relationship.

In the most incompatible relationships what you’ll find is that when the initial honeymoon physical chemistry wears off the entire interaction with each other in the relationship becomes a series of uncomfortable concessions that compromise or dull your individual authenticity, leading you to ask the question, “Do we ever have any fun anymore?” When there is compatibility and chemistry, however, the interactions are easygoing and happy.

While all relationships have some degree of compromise, it’s easier to come to agreements about critical issues in the relationship when you both have the ability to identify with how the other person is thinking and feeling. So make sure that in the early stages of a relationship you are able to focus you attention on her clearly, and more than likely that means pulling in the reins on the physical aspect of the relationship until you have an accurate assessment of how you and she connect, and whether your interest in one another is mutual. Physical chemistry and expression is something to celebrate, but at the right time.

Getting to know lots of women about whom you are making decisions about the likelihood of relationship longevity and satisfaction is what dating is all about. Don’t look toward the media for instructions on how to manage your sexuality; it’s a very personal and unique thing. If you can’t become physically involved with a woman without both of you feeling good about the event and where your relationship is going the next day, then hold off and wait a bit longer for the union to develop where it needs to for success. To rush things may meet your immediate sexual needs in a relationship, but none of the equally important qualities that determine whether your Ms. Right Now is Ms. Right.

Penis Pill FAQ

Penis pills have already been on the market for several years yet many still seem so puzzled by what they are exactly and how they work. Many ask, “What’s the safest and most effective pill? How can I acquire it?” Since it is not sound to guess since this might put to danger the reproductive system, a little research into penis enhancement pills is advised.

With a lot of male enhancement pill brands in the market, one has to be extra careful in choosing the right trademark. But it is necessary to note that it is safer and more accepted to use the brand that is purely natural since it has ingredients that have been used as sexual enhancers for centuries. Every penis enhancement pill product promises not only an enlarged penis but also a extended erection, strengthened sexual stamina, intensified orgasm, better sex drive, and prevention of premature ejaculation. One of these products is the all-new VigRX Plus™.

All penis enhancement pills are formulated to increase the penis size during sexual intercourse. According to VigRX Plus™, during a male’s arousal the formulation causes the erectile tissues to expand, in succession creates more space for blood flow. The greater the volume of blood flow, the larger and firmer the penis becomes, allowing you to perform better during sexual intercourse.

By using a pure herbal formulation, a user is spared from experiencing side effects such as headache, blurred vision, dizziness, indigestion, and congestion. Medical experts claim that some of the pill’s ingredients attends to and treats other body irregularities aside from sexual problems. For instance, VigRX Plus™‘ ingredient Hawthorn Berry is scientifically proven to improve the flow of blood to some body parts especially the heart, strengthen blood vessels, lessen the abnormality of heartbeats, minimize cholesterol, and decrease blood pressure. As such, there’s no need for a doctor’s prescription. Any man with a penis problem is liberated to purchase and take any penis enhancement pill brand of his choice.

Generally, it is advised to take 2 to 3 pills a day to guarantee optimum results. A great amount of water should be taken after the pill since it has to be melted right away for the body to quickly absorb the ingredients. After some months or even days of intake, he can expect improvements in his penis performance and other body functions. Though it is recommended to take a penis enhancement pill for some months, those who are more eager and dedicated to see the results are the most likely to get them; so it is best to use the pill regularly. However, if one has reached the results he has been wanting, he is free to stop immediately his intake of penis enhancement pill.

Testimonies of penis enhancement pill users, especially those found at Vigrxplus.com, profess that as early as the first day of use, they already felt the potency of the enhancer. But the results gradually take place from the first month of use until the third and beyond. In the first few months, a user will have longer erections and can expect penis enlargement. The penis will dramatically improve in performance as it becomes stronger and firmer in the coming months. It is expected that the user’s penis and sexual vigor will get better and better with regular intake. Permanent penis changes have also been reported.

For those who are seeking to have a penis enlargement medication and a sexual enhancer at the same time, there’s good news: penis pills are aphrodisiacs, too. Most pill brands are formulated with aphrodisiac concentrates, which were used and tested in the ancient times. One of this aphrodisiacs ingredients found in some penis enhancement pills is Catuaba, which is believed to be the most famous male stimulants in Brazil. As professed by the users, continuous usage leads males to having erotic dreams and then, empowered libido.

Given that most of the penis enhancers that we have today contain safe and natural ingredients, how effective then are these items? What exactly are the results to be expected? Some penis enhancement pill brands are claiming 28% to 30% increase in penis size after some months of use. Others are promising three to four inches of penis enlargement. But, in truth, the changes vary according to the men’s ages, system absorption, and health. It is also advised not to have the penis bigger than what women can actually accommodate.

Penis enhancement pills may cost a lot of money. Some are offering their products at $60 to $80 for a one-month supply. However, if one so desires to acquire the largest penis size ever, quality should come before price.

Penis enhancement pills have become the easiest source of men to gain the desirable penis size and self-satisfaction. With their increasing presence, it is hoped that there would be less unhappy couples.

Should You Have Sex With an Ex?
By Lisa Daily

Maybe you’re lonely. Maybe it’s step four in your grand scheme to engineer a reconciliation. Or maybe you had six too many Jamaican Martinis and were just drunk out of your mind.

Conventional wisdom says it’s a bad idea to sleep with an ex. But some experts think sleeping with an ex might even be (gasp!) good for you.

Pro Ex Sex

Dr. Edward Ratush, a Board Certified Psychiatrist and Sex Therapist (lovelifeMD.com ) says sleeping with an ex might not be as bad as we think. Among his reasons for another round in the bedroom are:

1) Good Sex. “We always had good sex, so why not get some?”

2) Why not? “Sex does not always have to imply that you are building a relationship, so in that way, deciding on whether or not to have sex with an ex is not any different from a potential new sexual partner.”

3) You want to test yourself with respect to personal sexual and or intimacy issues that you have resolved since the break up.

4) Friendly revenge. “See what you have been missing.”

Divorce Attorney Lee Rosen has seen couples divorce and then re-marry each other later on, and under those circumstances sleeping with your ex could result in getting back together and rekindling the relationship. Why? According to Rosen, many people mature as a result of the divorce, and sometimes the relationship was the right relationship, it just wasn’t the right time.

April Beyer, an L.A.-based relationship expert says, “The only way a roll in the hay with Mr. Yesterday will benefit you is if you need closure with this person. Perhaps it was a good relationship and it just wasn’t meant to be, due to timing or distance. A night of intimacy might be just what you need to put a spring in your step. Just be smart with your emotions. If you are going to play an adult game then you need to have a grownup attitude and be responsible for yourself and how you feel afterwards.”

Danger! Danger!

Before you start lining up your booty calls, however, you should remember that there are some drawbacks to sleeping with an ex. The most likely outcome is that one of you is hoping that a little roll in the sack will get you back together, while the other one is just happy to get some action.

Beyer says, “It’s usually not a good idea to sleep with your ex. You might think you can handle it, but unless you are made of stone, sleeping with you ex will bond you once again to this person. Casual sex with an ex can lead to confusion and hurt feelings.”

And while you may be thinking, I can handle it, I just want sex, your partner may not be able to. Sure, he or she may say they just want to have sex for sex’s sake (seriously, who in their right mind is going to confess that they’re really plotting to get you back?) but in the light of day, it becomes clear that they were hoping for something more.

And finally, it’s easy to instantly revert back to the sex habits you kept back in the days when the two of you had a monogamous, committed relationship. What’s important to remember is that since the break-up, one or both of you may have been sleeping with other people. Be careful not to slip into old (condom-free) habits and unknowingly expose yourself to STDs that weren’t an issue back when you were a pair.

When to Never EVER Sleep with an Ex

There are three circumstances under which you should never sleep with an ex. First, if you have children. The stakes are just too high to give anyone false hope.

The second is if you’re angling for reconciliation. Sometimes we just think if we can help our ex remember how great it was between us, they’ll forget about all the reasons you broke up in the first place; that a few hours of naked bliss will wash away the memories of jealousy, bitchiness, lack of support, and general nastiness. But that rarely (if ever) happens.

Sometimes the just-in-this-for-sex-ex may try to clarify his or her intentions before any clothing is tossed on the floor — only to find the next morning that the partner hoping for round two has either lied about their objective or agreed to no-strings sex as a sort of relationship “bait and switch.” This never works. And if great sex was the only thing that mattered, you never would have broken up in the first place.

The last reason to avoid sex with the ex? If either of you is currently involved with someone else, sleeping with your ex is a no-no. Just because you had him first doesn’t mean you get squatters’ rights.

You Shouldn’t Have But Did Anyway? Is Atonement Possible?

No.

All right, maybe you can save yourself from total humiliation. First, don’t spend the night. And if you do find yourself in his or her bed at daylight, don’t roll over with a smile on your face and say, “So, what are we going to do for New Years Eve?”

If you can pull it off gracefully, try to reiterate your position before you leave: remind your ex that last night was a great way to get closure on your relationship as you move forward. Separately.

There are only two reasons to ever sleep with an ex, says Lisa Earle McLeod, author of Finding Grace When You Can’t Even Find Clean Underwear (http://www.forgetperfect.com/): “To remind yourself why you left them or because you just want to have sex and you’re too lazy to find someone new.”

There’s a big wide world out there. Do you really need to recycle sex partners?

Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the author of the best-selling dating advice book Stop Getting Dumped!